Are you frustrated in getting what you want? Sometimes, it seems that other people, and life itself, gets in the way of what you truly desire. The good news is that there is a solution to your stuckness and a way to liberate your inner abilities to fulfill your dreams. On Love University, with the help of my new able producer, Jonathan, we revealed the secrets of personal power and happiness. Drawing from Dr. Avila’s groundbreaking book, Invincible You, we pinpointed major problems in life and provided workable and potent solutions for your daily excellence. Here’s what we learned:
*Be Your Favorite Actor: If you’re shy or hesitant around people, a good remedy is to become like your favorite actor. Think of an actor or actress that you admire. Consider their personality, habits, and idiosyncrasies—what do you like about them? Then, when you’re at home, practice walking, talking, and thinking like them. Jonathan, our producer, is a big fan of Will Smith because Will often portrays characters who are kind and humble, yet confident. In the same way, choose an actor who has qualities you would like to emulate. When you become more of the Actor in your mind, you will reduce your Observer—the self-conscious part of your mind that judges and criticizes you. When you think, talk, and act from your Actor, you will tap into the spontaneous and authentic part of you. As a result, you will be more successful in your relationships and interactions with others.
*Quiet Your Monkey Mind. In our 24-7 constant technology world, your mind is probably going 1000 miles a minute. The Monkey Mind is the part of your mind that is always thinking—worrying about bills to pay, what you have to do tomorrow, what you should have done yesterday. The Monkey Mind never lets you rest—it keeps you feeling frantic, nervous, and stressed. To still your Monkey Mind, you need to develop relaxation rituals. Before going to bed, or during the day, turn off your technological devices (phone, tablet, pad, computer). Take a technology fast so you can clear your mind of external noise. Also, at bedtime, make sure you do something that relaxes you—pray, meditate, read, listen to calming music, cuddle with a partner or animal, and think positive, loving, and optimistic thoughts. When you go to bed, move away from a preoccupation with the future or the past. Focus only on the relaxing now, and you will feel more energized and rested than ever before.
Beware the Second Arrow. In life, there are two “arrows.” The first arrow is the circumstance, person, or situation that causes you pain. A friend stops calling, you get into an accident, you lose money or advantages. The problem comes when you add a “second arrow”—your negative, emotional interpretation of the event. Our producer, Jonathan, recalls how he was distracted during a virtual meeting with a professor, and he didn’t notice that his car was parked in a location where the street sweeper was coming. Suddenly realizing what was happening, Jonathan ran to the car just as he was being ticketed. Furious at himself for leaving the car there, Jonathan slammed the car door and smashed his window—thereby costing himself even more expense and turmoil. When facing a difficult or challenging circumstance, don’t add an emotional reaction of fear, anger, or sadness to compound the situation and make it worse. Simply see it as an external event that happened. At first glance, the situation appears unpleasant or damaging, but if you look deeper, you may see that it can contain a positive outcome or valuable lesson. In the case of Jonathan, he learned how to be more aware in life, and he was able to avoid similar mishaps from happening in the future.
The secrets of self-empowerment and happiness are within your grasp if you follow these three steps: Become Your Actor, Quiet Your Monkey Mind, and Beware the Second Arrow. If you do these things, you will be well on your way to mastering inner and outer distractions, and accessing your authentic self-confidence. In the end, you will achieve your full potential, and you will make a positive difference in the world.