Love can be a dream: secrets of lasting love and dream interpretation, with special guest host Kelly Sullivan Walden, the Dear Abby of dreams

On Love University, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by a special guest host, Kelly Sullivan Walden, the Dream Doctor. She interviewed me about dreams, love, and the meaning of life. Here are some nuggets of knowledge we shared on the show:

 *Dreams can guide you.  You may think that you don’t dream, but research shows that you spend approximately two hours per night in the state known as REM sleep, where dreams are most likely to happen. The key to remembering your dreams is to keep a notebook next to your bed and write down everything you can think of about the dream when you wake up. Write down any emotions, colors, or sequences. The more you write down, the more you will remember. Dreams can provide insight into problems and can be a type of hidden intuition that guides you in what to do about relationships, careers, or lifestyle decisions. To learn more, read books, listen to podcasts and videos about dream interpretation, or talk to a dream coach (dream therapist) about your dreams and what they mean. You may be surprised about how much you can learn about yourself and your life when you interpret your dreams—"the royal road to your unconscious.”

 *Accept yourself as you are.  In my classic bestseller, LoveTypes, I taught readers how to determine and embrace their unique LoveType, one of 16 romantic personality styles, so they could find lasting love.  The first step is to accept yourself as you are. Maybe you are the Idealistic Philosopher who loves psychology, philosophy, and the meaning of life. Or, you are a Caretaker who loves to take care of people. Perhaps, you are the Craftsperson who enjoys hands-on excitement, or the General who has a commanding presence. To find a compatible mate, you first need to appreciate who you are.  If you’re an Idealistic Philosopher, be a proud one who takes pleasure in finding the meaning in life and talking about higher level ideas to help humanity. If you’re a General, embrace your powerful nature and don’t worry that some insecure people may be intimidated by you; there are plenty of individuals who will respect and admire your inner strength.  In the dating world, don’t try to change yourself to win someone’s heart—what I call the “Dating Masquerade (putting on a psychological mask to impress a potential mate).”  Instead, from the beginning of meeting someone, express your true, authentic self, and naturally connect with the person who resonates with your style.

*Find a similar type to love.  Although opposites may seem to attract in dating situations, research shows that couple similarities in values, preferences, and beliefs seem to work better for successful long-term relationships. The reason is that similarities in key areas of a relationships tend to minimize conflict and ensure a more compatible and harmonious love partnership. This doesn’t mean that you have to be exactly the same as your mate—you may love bowling while your partner craves opera—that’s perfectly fine. The important thing is that you share similarities in the important things in life—how you view the world, how you make decisions, how you organize your life.  In my latest book, GuyTypes (put AMAZON link here), I talk about the four Love Groups—Meaning Seekers, Excitement Seekers, Security Seekers, and Knowledge Seekers.  Once you know which group you fall into, you can network and get involved with groups, activities, and organizations that have a significant number of individuals who share the same type. If you’re a Meaning Seeker, for example, you can meet a like-minded Meaning Seeker at psychology or spirituality talks, events, or meetup groups.  If you’re a Knowledge Seeker, you can find a fellow Knowledge Seeker at activities and groups related to science, technology, business, and innovation. Regardless of your type, the good news is that there is someone for you who matches your nature and can be a wonderful long-term compatible love partner.

Yes, you can make your dreams come true—in love, finances, career, health, and happiness.  You need to embrace who you are—your unique personality style—and make the effort to understand your complete nature, including the unconscious parts of our mind that are expressed in your dreams. By fully acknowledging who you are—your wishes, dreams, desires, values, and goals—you can achieve what you want in life, including finding and keeping a lasting love relationship with the person of your dreams.