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In our tumultuous world of differences and conflicts, it’s good news when we can find love and harmony. On Love University (loveuniversity.love), we had the pleasure of listening to a special guest, Martin Sawa, Bay Area real estate entrepreneur and author. During his appearance on the show, Martin shared his insights on loving despite differences, and beyond death, as we discussed his fascinating memoir of money, life, tragedy, and love: The Other Side of Success: Money and Meaning in the Golden State (martinsawa.com). Here are some of the useful lessons we learned from Martin’s courageous and insightful book:
Successful Interracial marriages are about love, not differences. Martin married interracially three times, with two African American women and a Choctaw Native American (his first wife). He says he loved his wives dearly in different ways, yet their racial/cultural differences were not the most important thing. He says that once you get down to the business of day-to-day living, the keys for a successful marriage are the shared values you have with your mate, and the ability to treat each other as loving equals. Also, Martin advises, “Choose someone you can’t live without; a soul mate who is also a friend, lover, mentor, and spiritual partner. When you choose correctly, you will enjoy lasting love compatibility and a happy marriage.
Mental illness or psychological problems don’t have to define you. Martin admitted that he was an alcoholic, as was his father. Although he was a successful real estate entrepreneur, making deals on multimillion-dollar properties, he was also drinking excessively. The turning point was when he had a one night stand with an ex-girlfriend and admitted it to his wife (she was intuitive and already knew). Giving him one more chance, his wife offered Martin the motivation to quit drinking and to be the husband and father he wanted to be. Also, by reuniting with his paranoid schizophrenia sister (she disappeared for 20 years), Martin learned how to love and accept her as she was, and they enjoyed a marvelous five years together before she died.
You can love after death and beyond eternity. When his beloved second wife, Anita, died suddenly in the bathroom just before they were about to meet a couple for dinner, Martin was grief-stricken and shattered. Searching desperately for answers, he consulted spiritual intuitives, studied Eastern religions, and delved into philosophy and psychology. The spiritual intuitives reassured him that “She fluffs the pillows of you (supports you even after her death)” and “She is waiting for you; when you die, you will join her as if no time had passed.” In an amazing revelation, one of the spiritual intuitives told Martin that Anita had left a rose petal in her bible for him. He opened her bible and for the first time saw the rose petal as well as scriptures she had highlighted for him before her death. It was as if she had prepared for her departure and wanted to comfort her husband in her passing. Martin says he learned many valuable lessons from the death of his beloved wife: 1. Don’t take life for granted. Because today could be your last day, make sure you say “I love you” to your loved ones and go for your dreams, 2. Be good and do better, and 3. Pray daily in gratitude for the good things you have received and the well-being of others.
Martin concludes by advising you to “Have skin in the game.” Whatever you get involved with, whoever you are in a relationship with, give it your all. Make sure you invest the majority of your time, energy, money, and spiritual attention on the project or person you care the most about. When you do this, you will create a loving energy that lasts beyond death and leaves a legacy for all to see.