BY Dr. Alex Avila
Are you single and feel stuck at home—unable to find your soul mate or a quality dating partner? Now, there is a new way to date and find a compatible mate utilizing features in Facebook that are geared to singles and dating. We had our good friend, acclaimed dating psychologist, Paulette Sherman, on Love University, as she spoke to us about her new book, Facebook Dating, and advanced dating techniques for finding the right one. Here are some tips Paulette shared with us:
*Do Conscious Dating. Think of each date as a growing experience in your love consciousness. You can learn from even a lousy date. You learn what you don’t want so you can find the partner who is truly compatible with you. Try meditating before and after a date and get clear about the things about that person that triggered you—either in a positive or negative way. Maybe, you become aware that you’re unconsciously attracted to “bad boys” or “dramatic queens” just like your mom or dad. You see that they’re exciting at first, but then make you feel miserable and like your “walking on eggshells.” As you realize this, you can start to look for the steady and loving person who can provide emotional safety and comfort in the relationship instead of excitement that quickly turns negative.
*Get Involved in Facebook Groups or Events That Resonate With Your Personality. In the LoveTypes approach (lovetype.com), singles learn how to identify their unique LoveType, or romantic style, and meet like-minded singles and a compatible partner. For example, you may be a Meaning Seeker (psychology, philosophy, arts, meaning in life), Excitement Seeker (fun, parties, outdoor adventures, travel), Security Seeker (family, country, tradition, community), or Knowledge Seeker (science, technology, business, achievement). To find someone who resonates with your style, you can participate in Facebook groups or events that match your personality interests. Your chances of finding a compatible love partner are much greater when you get involved in activities and discussions that match your deeply held values and interests because you will have a great deal in common with like-minded people.
*Utilize the Facebook Dating Features: Facebook has a lot of cool features for singles to meet each other and develop a relationship. These include the opportunity to ask questions and read people’s posts—doing so can give you a wealth of information about the other person and whether they are compatible with you. Security Seekers, for example, like to post about their children and family; whereas Knowledge Seekers like to post about their achievements or new developments in society. You can also reveal your secret crushes (and find out if they have a crush on you), create a bucket list (see if they match yours), and make a scrapbook with your relationship history—once you find the right one.
The secret to finding a compatible soul mate begins with understanding and loving yourself—recognize your unique personality and love style—and accept yourself for who you are. Then, use a platform like Facebook to get involved in groups, activities, and discussions that help you connect with quality, like-minded singles who share your interests and are compatible with you at the deepest level. The end result is that you will enjoy one of the most marvelous experiences known to humanity: True, lasting love that creates a legacy of light and goodness for all to see.