There lies great power within us. Although it may seem difficult or impossible at times, we can have great relationships, career success, and life mastery. What we need is to explore and accept all parts of ourselves—the messy, unpleasant, and undesirable—as well as the beautiful, loving, and powerful. On Love University, our stimulating guest, Jamie Rea, award-winning writer, humorist, and relationship coach, enlightened us on the secrets of being authentically and lovingly ourselves so we can create relationships from a true point of excellence. Here is what we learned from Jamie:
*Embrace Your Inner Monster. You need to be aware of, and safely express, your rage, shame, and dark sides. You need to integrate, but not be possessed, by the dark or difficult parts of your personality. If you do this, you will liberate yourself from feeling bad about yourself and you can release the joy inside you.
*Be Kind, Not Nice. Serial killers can be the nicest and most polite people on earth. It’s true that so-called “niceness” can be a mask that hides an angry and ugly inner nature. On the other hand, Kind is an unwavering state that is embodied in your heart and soul. The kind person can be firm and strong while also having a deep and compassionate love for people.
Healthy Love is Monsters on a Leash. Can you communicate your needs to your partner in a nonviolent way? You can honor yourself and what’s true to you in a way that opens the floodgates for deeper intimacy with another human being. When you’re in an argument with your love partner, you can say, “This is how I feel” instead of accusing the other person of doing something wrong or calling them a “…jerk, ahole,” etc. The relational hero is the first one to drop their verbal sword and open the space for honest and nonjudgmental communication.
If You’re Single, Prepare to Die Alone: Imagine a cracked headstone where you’re buried, the birds are crapping all over it, and you’re all alone. In this paradoxical concept, you learn that death is the birthplace of love. You have to die to the expectations of having to find love, chasing it, and trying to force it into your life in the form of a “soul mate.” Once you kill the “false story of love” (you have to chase love to find a perfect person), then true love and an authentically compatible relationship will find you.
Once you embrace the paradoxes of your life, you can get rid of the inner stumbling blocks that prevent you from true growth. When fear no longer invades your mind, love will lead the way and show you the light to your higher journey.