Dr. Avila’s Live Valentine’s Event: Find Your Soul Mate: Asking The 4 Magic Questions
Would you like to find your compatible soul mate? Now you can by asking 4 simple everyday questions. Recently, during our Valentine’s zoom event, I shared the power of the LoveTypes system (shorturl.at/kuMTX) which I created based on the theory behind the most popular personality test in the world—the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®. With LoveTypes, you can instantly unmask a potential dating partner—determine their true personality style—and determine if they’re compatible with you. Here are the 4 magic questions you need to ask:
1. What do you do for fun in your spare time? If they answer, “I like to stay home reading, writing, thinking, meditating, or watching YouTube or Netflix,” they are probably Introvert—someone who gets energy from their own thoughts. If they say (especially when the pandemic is over),they like to socialize, spend time with friends, and go out, they are likely Extravert—they get energy by socializing with other people.
Hot Dating Tip: Female Extraverts with male Introverts have the most problems in finances, communication, chores, hobbies, and sex. If you and your partner are opposite in this dimension, make sure you respect each other’s style. Introverts give your Extravert a gal or guy’s night out. Extraverts respect your Introvert’s need for private and quiet time to recharge their batteries.
2. What would you do if your won $10 million in the lottery? If they say something like, “I would go the Himalayas and meditate, write the Great American Novel, or start a dream business to change the world, then they are likely the Intuitive (Imaginative) person. If they respond with, “I would save and invest, travel, and enjoy fine dining and fun experiences (sensory pleasures), they are probably the Practical (Sensory) person.
Hot Dating Tip: 70% of happily married couples are the same or similar on this dimension—either both Intuitive or both Practical. Intuitives like psychology, spirituality, the arts, and finding the meaning in life. Practical people enjoy things related to home, finance, entertainment, sports, travel, and things they can see, touch, smell, taste, and hear. Since Intuitives and Practical people see the world so differently, you’re usually better off with a love partner who matches your style in this dimension.
3. What’s your favorite movie and why do you like it?If they liked the movie because of the relationships and how it made them feel (they cried), they are likely the Feeler—they go by their heart and feelings in making decisions. If they liked the movie because it made them think—they liked the plot, acting, and special effects, they are probably the Thinker. They make their decisions based on their logic and thinking mind.
How Dating Tip: Any combination (male Feelers with female Thinkers, for example) can work here as long as you speak each other’s language. The Feeler love language is based on physical and emotional affection, words of affirmation (“I love you”), empathetic listening (putting yourself in the shoes of your partner), and romantic gestures (gifts, words). A Thinker’s love language is based on intellectual compatibility, competence (a partner who knows what they’re doing), witty wordplay (sarcasm, anyone?), and a desire to improve the relationship.
4. Hot Dating Tip: You’re invited to (Vegas) tomorrow, a work day, would you go? Spontaneous people would say, “Heck yeah, my bags are packed.” Structured people would say “No,” or ‘I have to plan it out.”
Hot Dating Tip: Spontaneous and Structured people often find themselves in relationships with their opposite, but problems can arise if they don’t respect each other’s style. For example, they may fight about time management (spontaneous people are always late, structured individuals are always on time), organization, scheduling, children, and even sex. One structured businessman made a premarital agreement in which one of the clauses included sex: “Henceforth after marriage, we shall have sex three times a week, between 8-10pm Eastern Standard time.” His wife-to-be signed the agreement because she was structured too. They liked having their window of opportunity for intimacy when their chores are done and the kids are asleep. A structured love life worked well for them, but probably wouldn’t be so great for more spontaneous couples.
They say that differences may the world complete. That may be true, but when it comes to compatible long-term relationships, similarities in the important things—values, attitudes, lifestyle choices, ways of seeing the world—are the best predictor of happy long-term relationships and marriages. This doesn’t mean that you have to be exactly the same as your mate—you can like hockey and they can like tennis—but it’s important that you share similarities in the deep core of your personalities.
It’s your turn now. Go out this week and ask the 4 magic question and discover the true personalities of the people you’re interested in. Who knows, before long, you may find the right person who could become your compatible soul mate for a lifetime of happiness. Enjoy your journey along the way, and always remember to love yourself, others, and a higher nature.
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