The Twist Of Introversion And Extraversion: Why Your Partner’s Social Energy Level Can Make A Big Difference In Your Relationship Happiness

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Are you an Introvert or an Extravert?  Your social energy style can determine a lot about you and your best match in a long-term relationship. Introverts primarily like to get energy from their own thoughts and enjoy spending quiet, private time alone or with a few close friends. Extraverts primarily like to get energy from other people in social settings; they often have a lot of friends and acquaintances and love to socialize. On Love University Podcast, we talked about my book, GuyTypes, and explored the unique worlds of Introverts and Extraverts in love and relationships. Here’s what you need to know to have a great relationship, whether you’re an Introvert or an Extravert:

*Determine Your Social Energy Style (Introvert/Extravert).  Before you seek a love partner, it’s important that you know yourself first.  To determine your Social Energy Style (Introvert/Extravert), ask yourself the “Fun Question”: What do you like to do for fun in your spare time? If you like to spend a lot of time reading, writing, thinking, listening to music, meditating, surfing the net, watching TV, or doing a hobby by yourself, then you’re likely an Introvert. You make up about 50.7% of the population—and are drawn to more introspective careers like engineering, science, research psychology, writing, accounting, and certain types of law. If you’re an Extravert, you make up about 49.3% of  the population, and you like to spend a majority of your time in the outside world and with other people in social settings. You enjoy parties, social gatherings, networking, live music venues, comedy clubs, concerts, and spending time with your many friends and acquaintances. You are drawn to fields such as sales, teaching, politics, acting/entertainment, and human relations.

*Appreciate Your Social Energy Style. Before you can love others, you need to love yourself. If you’re an Introvert, make sure you appreciate that you are an internal person who can come up with great ideas. You’re also a good listener, empathetic, and loyal (you like to settle in with the person you’re with). As an Extravert, you can be grateful for your abundant social energy and ability to communicate and connect with others. You are a lively, vivacious, and charismatic mate who brings fun and adventure to your partner’s life.  Regardless of whether you’re an Introvert or an Extravert, make sure you embrace and love your Social Energy style. If you do so, you will be happier with yourself and your love partner.

*Identify your ideal mate’s social energy style: Once you know and embrace your own Social Energy Style, ask the “Fun Question” to determine the type of the person who is the best match for you. Research shows that similarities in this personality dimension (two Introverts or two Extraverts) do well together in long-term relationships. For example, an Introvert couple can enjoy their nights at home or with a few close friends. They tend to have a quiet, calm, and loving relationship. Also, two Extraverts in a relationship can be great love and business partners, as they excel at human interaction, networking, and marketing. Their time together can be a never-ending party of fun social times with the people they care about.

One of the keys to a successful relationship is to respect your partner’s personality type. This is especially important if you’re in an opposites attract relationship; for example, an Introvert with an Extravert. If you’re an Introvert, you can respect your Extravert’s need to go out and connect with people without taking it personally (“You don’t love me”). If you’re an Extravert, you can appreciate your Introvert’s calming nature and their desire to spend time with you at home. In the end, compatible love is based on appreciation, respect, and mutual goals.  If you can blend your strengths with your partner’s natural abilities, you will have a great relationship that stands the test of time.