How to have the best sex and love ever: with special guest Ann Gadd, the love enneagram expert

Would you like to have great sex and romance?  Now you can by fully understanding your partner with the power of Enneagram personality analysis.  We just had a wonderful guest on Love University, Ann Gadd, who illuminated the secrets of wonderful sex and love through the power of Enneagram Types—a fascinating system of human understanding and connection. The first step is to discover your own type and your partner’s type.  Next, by applying the knowledge of Enneagram types, you will be able to harmonize with your partner, help them grow, and deeply connect with them. In the end, you will learn how to fully appreciate, and be grateful, for each other’s uniqueness as you work together to build an amazingly loving and sexy relationship that lasts.

Here are the 9 Enneagram types in sex and love:

#1’s:   Structured Perfectionists:  These are the meticulous people who love to organize, mobilize, and keep the rest of us safe. Their challenge is that they may put perfectionism over pleasure.  During lovemaking, they may criticize you for leaving clothes on the floor, instead of enjoying the moment.  KEY TO GREAT SEX AND LOVE: Teach them to let go of their need for control and, instead, to focus on the moment—to think about what is going right with the relationship right now.

#2’s: Considerate Caretaker:  They are the earth mother or earth father who takes care of you and have a strong desire to please you. In sex, they are eager to please but may not ask for their needs to be met, eventually resulting in frustration and resentment.   KEY TO GREAT SEX AND LOVE: Show them how to acknowledge their own love and sexual needs, and encourage them to receive.

3’s:  Achieving Promoters:  These are the irresistible people with enormous drive, ambition, and charisma.  They can light up any room they walk into.  KEY TO GREAT LOVE AND SEX: Show them that sex and love is not always a performance (“Look at how many orgasms we got”). Teach them how to relax and let go of the need for control so they can fully enjoy passion and romance.

4’s:  The Romantics:   These are the sensitive, artistic, creative, and spiritual souls.  They often suffer from the feeling that something is missing in their relationships—even if it is an excellent one. KEY TO GREAT LOVE AND SEX: Help them focus on reality instead of fantasy, so they can learn to appreciate the good things they already have in the relationship—without always yearning for an unattainable and unrealistic fantasy world in their heads.

5’s:  The Lonely Intellectual:  These are the brilliant thinkers who believe that knowledge is power, competence is everything, and brains are sexy.  KEY TO GREAT LOVE AND SEX:  Help them realize that sex and love consists of more than just mind—it encompasses body, mind, and soul.  Perhaps have them study up on Tantric sexuality, soulful sex, or romantic love expressions (poetry). Even though they may not grasp the emotional aspects at first, they can begin to think their way to their deepest emotions.

6’s:   Loyal Lovers:  These are the security conscious people who are loyal, committed, and long-term lovers. They believe they must always do things right. They worry a lot, “Will the condom break?  Will I lose my erection? Will something go wrong in the relationship. Will my partner will leave me?” KEY TO GREAT LOVE AND SEX:  Help them let go of the need to earn love; reassure them that you will always have their back as they have yours.  Your love is secure.

7’s:  Spontaneous Enthusiasts:  These are the playful, spontaneous, and fun-loving types.  They are always looking at the future—how to have more fun, joy, and pleasure.  KEY TO GREAT LOVE AND SEX: Give them an outlet for their quest for more—whether it’s in career, hobby, or entertainment pursuits. You can join them or give them their “individual hobby” time.  Then, they can come back to you with more sexual passion because they have indulged their need for freedom, fun, and spontaneity.

8’s The Big Boss:  These are the powerful, commanding, and larger than life people. They can tend to dominate and shine in any situation, and they don’t like losing. Ever. They know what they want, and they will do anything to get it—rejection is not something they even consider.  KEY TO GREAT LOVE AND SEX: Teach them to embrace the vulnerable side of themselves (it’s there deep down), so they can be your equal as opposed to your superior.

9’s Sensual Sweethearts:   These are the sweet, good-natured, and flexible peacemakers of the world.  They can merge into whatever their partner is into, and they are a calm, healing presence in the relationship.  KEY TO GREAT LOVE AND SEX:  Teach them how to recognize their needs as much as they want to please you.  In this way, they will not be sexually and romantically frustrated, and they can settle into a comfortable feeling of satisfaction and contentment.

There you have it. Which type are you and which one is your partner? You may see yourself in one or more of these types and you may be attracted to someone who is opposite to you—that is perfectly fine.  Often, opposites do attract in the Enneagram approach because they are looking for the hidden part of themselves—they want to harmonize and balance (for example a Big Boss female with a male Sensual Sweetheart). The one exception is the 4’s (Romantics), who tend to do well with each other because they are both yearning for that perfect, higher love.

Regardless of your type (and your partner’s type), the good news is that you can have an amazing relationship with your mate by deeply understanding and respecting each other’s personality styles and harmonizing together to create a strong relationship. It’s your turn now: Make it your mission to have the best sex and love possible with the partner of your choice. No matter what is going on in the world, you can appreciate the awesome truth:  Everything is better with Love.