Finding Love in Days of Loneliness: Proven Ways to Find Your Soul Mate in Troubled Times

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Click here for Dr. Avila’s book,  GuyTypes: 4 Ways to Find the Love of Your Life

In times of trouble and loneliness, being with a soul mate can be a great source of comfort and joy.  If you haven’t found the ideal soul mate for you yet, then listen up. Our latest Love University podcast, we learned the secrets of finding the most compatible love partner for you.  Here’s what you need to know to find the love of your life:

1. Embrace Your Unique Love Temperament.  You have a unique romantic style (Love Temperament) that is part of your authentic nature. Your Love Temperament is made up of various elements, for example, Thinker or Feeler. If you’re a Thinker, you primarily make decisions through your logic and impersonal analysis. On the other hand, if you’re a Feeler, you mainly make decisions by relying on your feelings. Regardless of your type, the key is to embrace who you are. When you do that, you become more attractive to others, and you are more confident that you can find the love of your life because you have self-worth.

2. Ask the 3 Magic Questions. When you’re out in the social world (or online), you can ask three key questions of prospective mates. When you ask these questions, you can learn a lot about them, and you can quickly determine if you’re likely to be compatible with them in a long-term relationship.  Here are the magic questions.

1.What’s your favorite movie and why did you like it? If they liked it because of the relationships, emotions, and the way it made them feel, then they’re probably a Feeler.  If they liked it because it made them think, and it was well made, then they’re likely a Thinker.  Thinkers and Feelers are from different psychological planets. They can get along, but they need to speak each other’s language. For example, Feelers usually like to express themselves with their love partner through tender words, physical affection, and romance. Although Thinkers may enjoy some of that as well, they prefer to express their attraction and comfort through intellectual compatibility, witty wordplay, and even sarcasm.

2. What would you do if you won $10 million? The practical (also known as Sensory) person would save, invest, and use it for sensory pleasures (fine dining, travel, shopping). The Intuitive (imaginative) person would likely use it for a creative purpose or a larger mission, like writing the great American Novel, starting a dream business to change the world, or going to the Himalayas to meditate.

3. If you were invited tomorrow on an all-expenses paid trip to Vegas (or a fun destination), but it was a work day, would you go? Structured people would likely say, “No” (“I have responsibilities). The spontaneous person would probably say, “Yes, my bags are packed. I’ll make arrangements.”

When identifying people’s personality types, it doesn’t mean that you have to be with someone who is exactly the same as you. A spontaneous person can get along with a structured one, and a Thinker can get along with a Feeler. However, the second dimension—Practical or Imaginative (“What would you do if you won $10 million?”) is an important one for you and your mate to be the same or similar. Practical and imaginative people see the world in very different ways, and they can have a lot of conflict if they don’t respect each other’s style. The imaginative person may see their practical partner as a “pie in the sky dreamer” (foolish), and the imaginative persona can see the practical person as a “stick in the mud” (boring).

In upcoming weeks, we will use these love personality dimensions to help you find the right soul mate for you.  Stay tuned for more secrets on finding true love that lasts a lifetime.

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